


I’m on Fire

by Danielle97



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Brief mentions of Gordon, Fluff and Angst, Journalist Robert, M/M, Musician Aaron, One Shot, Teen AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:00:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22147576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Danielle97/pseuds/Danielle97
Summary: Ten years ago, Robert fell in love. Ten years ago, Robert got his heart broken. What happens when the past won’t stop following him?
Relationships: Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden
Comments: 28
Kudos: 230





	I’m on Fire

**Author's Note:**

> The idea, in a nutshell, is that Robert and Aaron knew each other from school but lost touch. Later, Aaron becomes a song writer, using Robert as his inspiration, completely unbeknownst to Robert who is now a journalist. Yeah, that just about sums it up. Hope someone kind of likes it.

_I see you through cloudy eyes_

_You’re bulletproof and on standby_

His heart skipped a beat as the familiar tune touched his ears. That song.

He adjusted his earphones and looked back at his laptop, attempting to focus on the notes for his upcoming piece in the newspaper, and not on the fact that his fingertips were now trembling as they hovered above the keyboard. With one of the biggest elections in years just a month away, it was an article he was incredibly proud of and with it’s liberal readership in the hundreds of thousands, this could make quite a splash in the voting pool. So it had to be good. It had to be perfect. And he needed to focus!

But it was no use.

The song, it had him in its clutches now. And every time he heard it, he couldn’t stop himself. He was immediately transported back to ten years earlier, eighteen and falling for the first and only person he’d ever really wanted.

He curiously glanced up, looking around the cafe, unable to help himself. It was a habit he’d had for the last decade, and one he couldn’t seem to break, no matter how hard he tried. But nothing was different in the quaint little cafe in the middle of this small town. Same checkered tiles covering the floor. Same blue booths and silver high top tables scattered about. Same familiar faces that always seemed to congregate here on a lonely Friday night.

But the one face he so desperately wanted to see was nowhere in sight.

It wasn’t the first place he’d seen the mysterious brunette, but the cafe was the first place he’d gotten the chance to actually talk to him. It was the place that he’d developed the all encompassing crush that would follow him around for the entire summer after sixth form was over. It was the place where, standing in the car park after closing time under the halo of the streetlamp, Robert had whispered for the first and only time that he was, indeed, in love with Aaron Livesy, the brunette kissing him hard in response, and pulling him close as he breathed the words back into Robert’s ear, eyes hidden.

And it was the last place he saw him that humid Wednesday night, in the middle of August, when Aaron had softly kissed him, lips smiling, hands cupping his jaw, and promised to see him the next day at the park, just like always.

_Except he never showed up._

And when Robert called to ask if he was on his way, he was only met with an emotionless “No” followed by a “Just… just forget about it, okay?”

Completely confused, Robert had called him no less than a dozen times after that before finally working up the nerve, two hours later, to drive over to Aaron’s house, where the brunette had warned him never to go. Had made him promise with desperate tones and pleading eyes. And Robert had. He’d promised never to visit the house, eyes wide and honest as he did.

He’d marched up the cracked pathway and knocked on that menacing door, a few slivers of peeling paint raining down onto the tattered welcome mat as he pounded harder and harder. But no one had answered. And so, he’d called again. He’d called and texted and called and texted. Over and over again for the next week, his desperation increasing with each day that rolled past, his sadness crushing him with each hour that went by without a response.

Where was he? Was he okay? Did he need help? And what had Robert done to warrant such behavior?

He hadn’t gotten an answer until he’d caught sight of Aaron’s Dad at the same cafe two weeks later, three days before he was set to leave for University, his acceptance letter having arrived months ago. It had taken all the courage he could muster to approach him, Aaron’s warning of staying away from his house extending to his family as well. And when he confirmed, with hard eyes and a biting tone, that Aaron was, in fact, gone, he’d felt it tear into his heart. He’d felt it violently churn his stomach. He’d felt the wave of hurt rush through every inch of his body, his legs just barely retaining the strength to hold him up. And for the first time, he’d realised that whatever they’d had that summer, it hadn’t meant nearly as much to Aaron as it had meant to him. If it was so easy for Aaron to walk away, he must not have cared. Robert was in love and now he was devastated that the boy he adored had simply vanished, never to speak to him again.

He’d tried to forget Aaron as the days rolled past. Then the months. Finally, years. And he was doing fairly well, happily living his life with great friends, an amazing job, and his family, always there to help him up when he fell. Honestly, it had been so long since he’d even thought of Aaron, that when all of a sudden, he was smacked in the face with thoughts of the brunette, two months earlier, it reopened the wound that he thought had long ago healed.

_All because of this damn song._

He wasn’t sure what it was but it felt so familiar. So real. So personal. It felt like Aaron.

And every time it floated, unexpectedly, through his earphones, he was transported back, sitting in this very seat, Aaron across from him smiling that gorgeous smile and flashing those amazing blue eyes as their hands clasped above the table, feet wrapped in each other’s below, so young and so in love.

* * *

**Ten Years Earlier**

_You see me at my worst_

_You’re coming through and you’re always first_

  
Robert twirled a battered red pencil between his fingers, another tightly gripped between his teeth, his attention anywhere but the chemistry book in front of him. He’d tried to refocus over and over, knowing he needed at least a ‘C’ in his exam in three weeks in order to pass the course. But it was no good. His mind was completely consumed with other thoughts. 

Or thoughts of one particular person. 

Of one particular brunette.

He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him for an entire week now. And for the life of him, he couldn’t figure out why. He literally knew nothing about the boy except for his name. But there was something so incredibly intriguing about him that fully had Robert’s attention, unwilling to loosen it’s grasp.

With their Science project woefully behind for the term, and nothing better to do on a Friday night, he and his friends had decided to make it a pizza and planning session to catch up, and make sure everything was in order for their upcoming presentation. Pulling up to the two story brick house, he tried not to laugh as Tracey meticulously parked the car along the curb, double checking all of her mirrors before she killed the engine.

_Typical Tracey._

He reached into the backseat and grabbed his fraying green rucksack before opening the door and hauling himself out of the battered ford, closing the door behind him. He looked up, watching as the front door to the house opened and Pete stepped out onto the driveway, waving at the two of them, a little more enthusiastic as he turned to Tracey.

“Alright,” he called as he made his way towards them, opening the gate at the bottom of the long path. “Took your time didn’t ya?”

“Didn’t realise you were so eager,” Robert teased, laughing as Pete just rolled his eyes. 

“We’re only two minutes later than we said we would be,” Tracey said, checking her phone before standing a little taller, holding her books closer to her chest, eyes wide. “There was a detour on the way from Robert’s house. They’re finally fixing that pothole on long street.”

“Right, well, I’m just glad you guys are here,” Pete said, rocking on the balls of his feet, eyes never leaving Tracey’s face.

 _These two._ Robert huffed at the ridiculousness and turned away, trying to avoid the moment of extended eye contact. Looking around the neighbourhood, he smiled wistfully. It was the typical sight for their small town. Older homes that were still well maintained, pristine lawns, and freshly painted fences. Well, all except for the one across the street from Pete’s house. He’d noticed how it stood out like a sore thumb before, and had always wondered what the story behind it was. Something about it just took him away, pulling at his heartstrings and bringing his stomach a little further down than it should be. So sad and…

 _Desolate_.

He glanced over then, studying the structure for a long moment, looking no different than it had the last time he’d been here. Same faded brown paint. Same sagging roof. Same patchy lawn, some spots grown high, others bare.

Or at least it was no different up until five seconds later when the front door slammed open, the squeak in it’s eroding hinges somehow reaching his ears clear across the street. Shouting wafted out along with a brunette, stomping down the front steps, obscenities and insults pouring out after him as he walked on, not stopping.

The boy… he looked so hurt and angry and… sad. _He looks so sad._

“Who’s that?” Robert asked as he glanced back towards Pete.

“Oh, that’s Aaron,” Pete said as he looked over, his face falling as he did. “He um, he goes to our school.”

“I’ve never seen him before.”

“I don’t think he actually goes that much.”

The trio turned and watched as more yelling came from the house, the sound a stark contrast to the serene little bubble that encompassed the quaint little street.

“What’s with all the shouting?” Robert asked, quickly glancing back. “Should we… should we do something?”

“No. This is kind of a normal occurrence,” Pete said sadly. “If it’s not him, it’s his sister. If it’s not one of them, it’s his step mum. It’s just kind of a mess.”

“But-”

“Don’t, mate. I’ve tried. It just… he’ll just get embarrassed and end up yelling at you,” Pete said, grabbing onto his shoulder to keep him from moving. “His Dad… it’s just not a good situation. So… let’s go inside so we don’t bother him.”

He watched Tracey follow Pete into the house before turning back as he heard the door slam shut across the street. He watched the boy heave a solid kick at the already broken fence with his worn black boot, easily snapping a spindle before looking his way, fists tight, jaw clenched. Their eyes met for a long moment and it seemed to literally stop time. Robert swallowed hard, his feet glued to the spot, heart hammering in his chest, breath quick. But then, with a violent shake of his head, the brunette turned away and stormed down the street, never looking back.

Robert watched until he was out of sight, wanting so desperately to chase after him, but what would he say to someone who was a complete stranger? How could he possibly help?

And now, a week later, staring blankly at his chemistry book, he couldn’t get the brunette out of his mind. His eyes, his blatant pain. He’d looked for him at school, but Pete was right. He didn’t seem to show up very much. Robert had thought he’d caught a glimpse of him near the library on Wednesday. But as soon as he turned back, whoever it was, was gone.

“Look, do you have the money or not?”

Robert looked up from his textbook, where he’d been jotting down notes, the irritated tone catching his attention. He looked towards the front counter of the cafe, the bored waitress that he recognised from his english class the obvious source. But who was she talking to? A boy. A boy with dark hair, black jeans, black hoodie, hands shoved deep into his pockets as he bounced a little. It was the same boy.

Aaron!

“Seriously. Do you have it or not? Because I’m not going to wait all day!”

“Yeah, I just…” Robert heard the brunette grumble, and continued to watch him dig through his pockets, his shoulders sagging a moment later in apparent defeat. “I did. There’s a hole in my pocket. I must’ve lost it,” he said, his voice was so quiet that Robert could barely make out the words.

“Well, no money, no milkshake.”

Robert watched Aaron huff and turn to the side, his face a mixture of anger and embarrassment. And once again, he felt that deep ache.

But then, Robert did something. He did something stupid. He didn’t even realise he’d risen from his seat. He didn’t realise that he’d taken the few steps forward to land himself right behind the boy. He didn’t realise that he’d dug into his own pocket and pulled out the crisp five pound note that his mum had given him just that morning.

“Can I… can I get that for you?”

_Oh god._

And he definitely didn’t mean to say anything. The words had just escaped his mouth, completely unhindered.

“What?” The gruffness in Aaron’s voice made him take a step back but, when the brunette turned, eyes hard, Robert swallowed down his insecurities and nodded.

“I… if you want, I’d um… I’d like to buy you a milkshake?” He stumbled.

“Why?” Again, anger and disbelief laced his voice, fighting for dominance.

“I just… I want to.”

“I don’t need your pity,” he said, moving to walk past.

But then Robert did something even more stupid. He reached out and grabbed the boy’s wrist as he walked by. Aaron turned on him, that same anger still there but now edged with confusion.

 _Oh god_ , Robert thought as he registered the warm, soft skin beneath his fingertips, unintentionally squeezing once before letting go.

“It’s not pity. It’s… I’d just like to buy you a drink. No strings. No ulterior motive. I just… I just want to,” he shrugged, looking down, feeling awkward.

“Give it,” the waitress said from behind Aaron, snapping her fingers at Robert for the money. And Robert swore he heard Aaron growl as he rounded on the server, the anger now back in full force and aimed at the annoying girl behind the counter.

“Are you fucking kidding me? Did you just snap your fingers at him?”

“Look, whatever you two have going on, I’m not interested. I just want to get this over with so I can go back to not dealing with you.”

“You little-”

“It’s okay,” Robert cut in, moving forward and handing over the money. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Aaron staring at him, brow furrowed, body rigid as if ready to snap at any moment.

Making quick change, the girl pushed the money across the counter towards Robert and a styrofoam cup to Aaron.

Grabbing it up in a huff, Aaron’s glare leveled back on the waitress, even as she rolled her eyes and turned away, clearly done with the interaction.

And then, turning to face the brunette, Robert did the stupidest thing of all.

“Would you like to sit with me?” _Oh god._

* * *

_I could stay out on my own_

_But I feel you and I am home_

_I’m on fire…_

That was how it all started. That breezy May night, three weeks before he finished school, Robert doomed himself.

And like clockwork, every Friday night for the next three weeks, at seven-fifteen, Robert would be sitting there, at the same table when Aaron would walk in. The brunette would casually look around, pretending he didn’t see Robert as he strolled to the counter in no hurry and counted out his change for a small strawberry milkshake. And a few minutes later, he would saunter over and sit across from Robert at the table, coolly flopping into his seat like it was no big deal. Like that had been the plan all along.

After the initial and incredibly awkward first week, where Robert blathered on, fidgeting in his seat as Aaron quietly sagged into his, eyes hard and distrusting, things got a little easier. Slowly but he’d take the victory, regardless of the size.

During week two, Robert had offered Aaron some of his chips when he’d caught him eyeing them, ears tipped pink as they always seemed to be around Aaron, but the brunette had vehemently declined the offer. The third week, when Robert asked again, Aaron had relented and eaten two, slowly savoring each bite as if he hadn’t eaten in days. The fourth Friday, they’d split everything down the middle, including Robert’s double cheeseburger with extra pickles. And Aaron spent half the night actually smiling at him.

* * *

_Take my hand and slowly sway_

_Lights all die, please stay_

Robert quickly learned which topics were okay as they sat together those Friday nights. Music, films, music, where they wanted to travel, music (Aaron really loved it), and which ones were absolutely, positively off limits. And item number one on that taboo list was anything having to do with Aaron’s family.

Robert had steered clear of the subject up until week five when Aaron’s Dad had walked into the cafe, eyeing them curiously as he did before shaking his head with a huff, and turning towards the counter to order. Aaron had sat up a little taller, back rigid as he kept one eye on him and one on Robert. He didn’t approach them but as he moved to leave, greasy paper bag in hand, Robert distinctly heard him mutter ‘you’re not worth it’ under his breath. He watched as the words seemed to punch Aaron in the gut, his eyes falling, heavy and beaten. Unable to help himself, Robert had tried to talk to him about it, pressing the family issue a little further than he should’ve, and immediately knew it was the wrong thing to do when Aaron completely shut down. Pushing his milkshake aside, he refused to meet Robert’s eyes for the rest of the evening, even after Robert had exhausted every neutral topic he could think of.

He honestly wasn’t sure if Aaron would show up the sixth week. The brunette had been avoiding him for the last seven days, not answering when he called and only texting back one word answers hours after Robert had tried to reach him. So when he walked into the cafe at ten minutes after seven that Friday night in the middle of June, his heart stopped beating for a full ten seconds as his eyes landed on Aaron, already there, sitting at their table, strawberry shake and a bacon cheeseburger in front of him, and on the other side, Robert’s go-to chocolate milkshake and a double cheeseburger.

He smiled softly as Aaron finally looked up, his eyes sad but… hopeful?

Robert slowly made his way towards the table, his gaze never leaving Aaron’s, even as the other boy nervously bit his bottom lip.

“Hey,” he said, lifting his foot and nervously tapping the toe of his shoe against the checkered tiles as he stood alongside the table.

“Hey.”

Aaron bashfully glanced down for a moment, a small lopsided smile forming on his lips. Looking back up, his soft eyes met Robert’s once again, and Robert had to swallow down the sudden urge to take that beautiful face in his hands and kiss Aaron senseless.

“I uh… I got yours with extra pickles,” Aaron mumbled, pointing to the other side of the table.

And that was the moment that his intrigue in Aaron Livesy became something very different.

* * *

_Darkness falls once more_

_Hear me say, I’m yours_

  
“You can’t do that!” Robert laughed, pushing Aaron’s black checker back to its original spot on the board and mock glaring at the brunette in warning.

“Why not?” Aaron teased, leaning back against the sofa, his smile playful, eyes mischievous.

“Because it’s cheating!”

Only seeing Aaron on Friday nights simply wasn’t enough after six weeks. He wanted more. He needed more. So after their makeup dinner just three days ago, he’d worked up the courage to text the boy he had an enormous crush on and ask if he’d like to stop by later that night. Sarah usually worked late on Mondays anyway in an attempt to catch up from the weekend backlog, so they’d have the house to themselves. And to his utter surprise and absolute delight, Aaron had agreed.

So there they sat, on the floor of Robert’s living room in the middle of their second game of checkers, the carpet scratchy against their legs. The curtains gently blowing in the soft breeze from the open window behind him and music quietly reverberated from the antiquated speakers sitting atop the television cabinet, the remnants of the double cheese pizza on the other end of the coffee table where Aaron continued to pick at Robert’s leftover crusts.

“It’s only cheating if you get caught.”

“You’re terrible,” he laughed again, smiling harder when Aaron simply shrugged. But those blue eyes never left his. And Robert found that little stomach flip thing happening. The same one that seemed to occur anytime Aaron looked at him for more than a few seconds. And he found himself having to look away, the feelings within his chest threatening to overwhelm him.

“Um… I uh… I’m sorry the TV isn’t working,” he rambled, staring down at the beige carpet beneath him and attempting to swallow his nerves. “Mum said she’d try to get around to it this weekend.”

“It’s fine. I don’t mind.”

“You um… you want to go outside?” He suggested, quickly looking up, eyes eager. Maybe if he wasn’t staring directly at Aaron, if they just sat side by side, he wouldn’t try to kiss the brunette until his lungs ached for air.

“Sure.” Aaron stood first and rounded the table, his hand reaching for Robert’s to pull the blonde up, their fingers lingering together a moment longer than necessary.

Robert led the way to the back patio, the old wooden swinging chair that his Dad had built for his Mum years earlier still sitting there, the springs a little rusty but the methodic squeak that echoed with every forward rock was somehow soothing. They sat there in silence for a few long moments, only an inch or two between them, pushing their feet into the weathered deck to keep the momentum of the swing going. Robert looked out into the garden, watching the swarm of gnats congregating by the tree, the birds calming him with their chirps. And next to him, Aaron sagged just a little further into his seat, arm thrown across the back of the bench behind Robert’s shoulders, eyes towards the sky full of stars. The waxing crescent moon lent itself to the view, giving off just enough light to make out Aaron’s features, his smile soft, completely content in the moment. It was safe and easy. It was wonderful.

Robert closed his eyes, just for a moment, a small smile touching his lips as the rocking soothed him further. And when they finally opened, he turned to see those intense blue eyes on him, waiting. Wanting.

He swallowed hard as his gaze flicked to Aaron’s lips and back up, moving closer to the brunette as he did, unable to hold back any longer. Aaron reached up, cupping his cheek as he leaned in. And when their lips finally met, Robert couldn’t help the relieved sigh he released. He figured that was what had caused Aaron to gently chuckle against his lips, the vibration tickling and making his stomach flip.

Pulling back, a moment later Aaron held his gaze once again, eyes softer and curious.

“Robert, are you… are you sure?”

But Robert simply smiled and moved a hand to Aaron’s waist, holding tight as he leaned in to kiss him again.

They didn’t stop until their ears picked up the sound of Sarah’s car crunching over the gravel driveway, an hour later.

* * *

_I could stay out on my own_

_But I feel you and I am home_

_I’m on fire…_

  
And that’s how it started. Saturday nights Robert would make his way to the record store around eight and pretend to peruse music he had no interest in buying, eyes coyly meeting Aaron’s from behind the counter every few minutes with a small smile until his boss left for the night, and Robert would climb behind the counter and kiss the brunette until he gasped for breath. Monday nights, Aaron would come by after his shift had ended and they’d spend the night at his, out on the back patio, wrapped in each other as beads of sweat collected on the backs of their necks, the stagnant summer breeze not nearly enough to cool them down. Tuesdays were reserved for the cinema, but they could only go to cheap viewings and Aaron refused to let Robert buy him popcorn, but always pulled the blonde close as they slouched in the worn seats. Wednesdays were back to the cafe for a late night milkshake, hovered over the small table as they sipped. Thursdays were spent together at the park before Aaron’s shift started, sun on their skin, smiles on their faces, and Aaron would always leave Robert with a toe curling kiss, the blonde aching for more. And Friday nights started at the cafe, sitting at their usual table, and ended with fogged, steamy glass in all windows of Robert’s car at whatever secluded spot they’d found that night.

It was the most amazing summer of his life and no matter how much time he got with the brunette, who was quickly stealing his heart, it was never enough. And as July ended and August began, he started to panic at what was just around the corner. University. Next steps. All far away from here. All far away from Aaron.

“It’ll be okay, Robert,” Aaron had mumbled one night as they lay half dressed in the back of Robert’s car, the cracked windows doing nothing to alleviate the heat within.

“But… if you end up going to London… Aaron, that’s like a four hour train journey to leeds.”

“Who said I’d be doing the travelling?” He teased, making Robert laugh as he propped himself up on his elbow, head in his palm, staring down into Aaron’s eyes. “I really do hate the train.”

“Well, once you make it as a big songwriter, you can buy a car. Or a plane! That’ll shave off some time on the commute.”

He smiled brightly, hoping to keep things light, but that sadness crept into Aaron’s eyes again, his smile forced and small, making Robert’s heart ache. That sadness had been creeping in more and more lately, as the days grew shorter and the nights longer, though Robert didn’t understand why, and Aaron simply brushed off his numerous attempts to find the answer.

He’d initially thought it was because Aaron wasn’t interested in anything more than the summer together, as the hurt only seemed to appear when Robert mentioned anything about the future. And when he’d braved the topic one night, sitting on top of the counter of the record store after closing, Aaron standing between his legs, hands on Robert’s hips, the brunette had quickly reassured him that he didn’t just see Robert as a summer fling. That Robert meant so much more than that.

_But…_

It was there in his eyes, every single time he whispered that he cared for Robert or that he wanted the blonde or that he didn’t want to let him go. The ‘but’ that followed those statements was never uttered aloud, despite the fact that it was clear as day in those big blue eyes.

And as they lay there in the back of Robert’s car, the ‘but’ lingered between them, unsaid and uncomfortable.

“What is it?” Robert asked, reaching up and brushing his thumb along Aaron’s jaw.

“Leeds is going to be lucky to have you,” he answered quietly, reaching up and pushing a few sweaty strands of hair off Robert’s face, his fingertips lingering.

“Well, London’s going to be lucky to have you,” he countered, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Laying back down, he rested his chin on Aaron’s chest, eyes never leaving the ones above him.

They were quiet for a long moment, Aaron’s fingertips lazily tracing across Robert’s features, almost as if he was trying to memorise every detail, down to the last freckle.

“I’m gonna miss you, Robert,” he finally whispered, but it sounded so much louder in Robert’s ears.

“No! No goodbyes yet!” He pleaded, eyes eager. “We still have a couple of weeks together.”

“Okay,” Aaron relented, his throat bobbing softly as he swallowed. “No goodbyes yet.”

“Anyway, they won’t be goodbyes. They’ll be more like ‘see you later’s,’” he said, his own fingers now tracing aimless patterns along Aaron’s chest.

Above him, a half smile pulled at the brunettes lips as he closed his eyes, and settled back into the seat below him, hand still caressing Robert’s skin.

And Robert knew, right there and then, as he stared up at Aaron..

He was in love. He was in love with Aaron Livesy. And he never wanted to lose that feeling.

* * *

_I'm losing all control_

_You see into my soul_

  
Robert looked around the park, hoping for any sign of the brunette that he was so completely crazy for. Aaron was late. Really late.

Robert, of course, had gotten to the park early, excited to spend the afternoon together. He’d been sitting on top of one of the picnic tables near the pavilion for close to twenty minutes, the sun shining down and warming his face as he closed his eyes and angled upwards, the breeze flowing through his hair.

“Robert!”

He smiled at the familiar voice, opening his eyes as he located the source.

“Hey, Connor.”

Connor Jennsen. His old friend. The boy that he’d kind of liked for years, those feelings only going away after someone else came along. Some who was far more than Connor could ever hope to be.

 _Aaron_.

“Good to see you, Rob,” He said as he sat on the bench near Robert’s feet. “I haven’t heard from you all summer.”

“Yeah, I uh… I’ve been kind of busy,” he explained.

“Yeah, I heard,” Connor teased, lifting an eyebrow and making Robert smirk. “I’ve seen you both around. What’s his name?”

“Aaron. He’s...” But what could he say? Words would never do his feelings for the brunette justice.

“Well, you always seem to be smiling around him, so I suppose that counts for something,” Connor shrugged and Robert simply nodded, smiling as he did. “Is he uh… or will he be going to Leeds with you?”

“Er, no,” he admitted, sagging a little as he did. “He’s actually on his way to London a few days after I leave.”

“Well, that’s not too far. I’m sure you can make that work,” Connor said, enthusiastically patting his knee as he did.

“I really hope so.”

“He meeting you here today?”

“Yeah. He should be here any minute,” Robert nodded.

“Alright, well, I’m glad I got to see you before you left,” Connor said, removing his hand from Robert’s knee as he stood. “Call me after you get settled in, alright? You’re not that far away. Maybe we can meet for a drink or something.”

And again, Robert simply nodded as Connor smiled once more before turning and walking back towards his friends.

They could make it work. They had to try. He’d just found Aaron. He wasn’t ready to let him go.

He drummed his fingers along the splintered wood below him as he waited, smiling harder and harder at the thought of him and Aaron, phone calls and texts and weekend visits. It wouldn’t be easy, but they could do it. What they had… it mattered. It was important. And it was worth fighting for.

He looked around again, hoping to catch sight of the smaller boy anywhere in the park, he once again came up empty. Reaching for his phone, which was devoid of any missed messages, he quickly called the brunette, sighing in relief when he answered on the third ring.

“Hey, are you almost here?”

“No.” The even, emotionless tone in Aaron’s voice immediately set him on edge and he felt his stomach drop uncomfortably.

“Well, are you… I mean, are you okay?”

“Just… just forget about it, alright?”

“Forget about what? Aaron, what’s wrong?”

“Goodbye, Robert.”

“Aaron, wait, I-” But Aaron had already hung up. He immediately tried calling back, only to be sent straight to voicemail.

What was going on? What had happened? He tried again and again. And again. Sighing in frustration, body gripped with worry, he shoved his phone into the back pocket of his jeans, and headed towards the car park on the opposite side of the trees.

He didn’t stop to notice the breeze had suddenly fled, the air heavy, pushing down on him. He didn’t stop to notice that the smell of the flowers was gone, no longer wafting through the park as it did every other day. He didn’t stop to notice the unusual silence, no laughter or chirping or leaves rustling in the trees.

And he definitely didn’t stop to notice the greasy paper bag with the cafe logo on the side, thrown to the ground next to two milkshakes, spilling from their styrofoam containers, one chocolate and one strawberry.

* * *

**Present**

_I’m on fire…_

The song ended in his ears, the familiar feeling of longing pulling at his heart. And without even realising what he was doing, he reached for his phone to replay the tune.

Aaron.

He’d never heard from him after that but… somehow, deep down, pushed behind a door that he had to keep locked, he was still crazy about him.

He knew that Aaron had gone to London, just as he’d planned. Robert had tried to find him but as Aaron had constantly bemoaned the use of social media during their summer together, it wasn’t like he could just look him up online. And one late night, November of his freshman year, he’d made his final attempt to reach out, calling Aaron’s number one last time. And the deep voice that answered told him that he’d just obtained the phone a few weeks earlier. He had never heard of an Aaron.

He’d laid in his bed that night, curled up on one side, his roommate already gone for the holiday, and cried himself to sleep, his heart completely and utterly shattered.

He’d forced himself to stop looking after that, working as hard as he could to get Aaron out of his system. It hadn’t been easy, and apparently, hadn’t really worked at all.

With the song still lingering in his mind, he found that overpowering curiosity pulsing inside, begging for an answer. And for the first time in nearly a decade, he couldn’t deny it. Opening up a new browser window on his laptop, he quickly typed in his name, trying not to get his hopes up, but feeling his heartbeat speed up to an alarming rate anyway.

And there he was…

‘ _Aaron Livesy’_

_‘Aaron Livesy - changes surname to Dingle’_

_‘Aaron Dingle - up and coming songwriter’_

_‘Aaron Dingle - music’s latest behind the scenes sensation’_

‘ _Aaron Dingle - newest song an absolute hit’_

_‘Aaron Dingle…’_

Even more beautiful than I remember, he thought as his fingertip traced along the edge of his screen.

He’d done it. He’d gone to London and he’d made his dream come true, writing some of the most incredible songs currently being produced, including the one currently pumping through his earphones. It was…

 _Amazing_.

Smiling softly as the song ended once again, he moved the plug from his phone to his laptop and clicked on one of the newer audio articles, his heart stopping in his chest as he waited for it to load. And then, as it started beating again, he smiled hard, the voice that had lulled him into safety and comfort all those years ago finally meeting his ears after a decade of silence.

“ _Aaron Dingle! Such a pleasure, thank you for agreeing to meet with us today!”_

_“Uh… yeah. No problem.”_

Robert immediately laughed, picturing Aaron looking confused and uncomfortable.

_“Now, your song has taken off like… well, excuse the expression, but like fire,” the interviewer laughed._

_“Yeah, it’s apparently doing well,” Aaron countered, slightly more poised._

_“So, can you go into a little more detail about how you wrote it? What you were inspired by?”_

_“It’s actually a really long story.”_

_“The short version then?”_

_“Uh, okay,” he chuckled,_ and Robert could hear his voice soften just slightly as he continued _. “I um… I fell in love with the most incredible person in the entire world. And I lost him because I was a stupid insecure kid. I messed up and it cost me what could’ve been the best thing I ever had.”_

_“So, there’s someone out there who has no idea that this song was written because of them?”_

_“I doubt he knows. I haven’t seen or spoken to him in ten years.”_

_“Well, you say you lost him because you were a stupid insecure kid. Care to elaborate on that?”_

_“I uh… I listened to someone I shouldn’t have. Someone that had told me for years and years that I would never amount to anything and that I wasn’t good enough. And he deserved the absolute best. That.. that wasn’t me.”_

_“Oh, that’s so sad.”_

_“Yeah. The… the last time I saw him, he was sitting with someone. Someone I’d seen him with before. Someone I knew would be able to give him what he deserved. So I walked away… because I knew he wouldn’t.”_

_“So, do you know if he ended up with this person?”_

_“No, he didn’t. I uh…” he chuckled. “I finally joined the twenty-first century and am now officially on the social media bandwagon. I found him probably five years ago. He’s an incredible writer now and, as far as I know, still single.”_

_“Well, did you ever think to try and reach out to him? Explain yourself?”_

_“No. Even if it wasn’t for that moment of complete stupidity, he was an incredible person. I hurt him and he didn’t deserve it. He deserves so much more than I could ever give him. He… he deserves the world.”_

The interviewer switched topics and continued to prattle on, but Robert wasn’t listening anymore. His heart thudded loudly in his chest. His breathing sped up. Goosebumps broke out along his arms despite the warmth of the cafe.

All these years, he’d thought that Aaron didn’t feel the same. But how wrong he was. Aaron had wanted him. Had cared about him. Aaron had loved him.

_Maybe… maybe it wasn’t too late. Maybe he could reach out to him. Maybe he could explain and Aaron could explain and… maybe…_

He pulled one of his earphones free with a smile and a soft sigh as he sagged a little onto the chair beneath him, spinning slightly as he rocked back and forth, the squeal of his seat competing with the waitress greeting a new customer at the counter to his left.

“Can I help you?”

“Yeah. Bacon cheeseburger and a strawberry milkshake.”

_Oh god._

His heart stopped in his chest as his breath caught in his throat. He knew that voice. He had become intimately familiar with that voice. He loved that voice.

Turning on his chair, he swallowed hard at the sight of a man standing at the counter. He would recognise the back of that head anywhere. _Still going for the all black look I see._

He didn’t think. He didn’t pause. He slid off his chair, slowly walking towards the counter, his heart leaping into his throat as he opened his mouth.

“Can I… can I get that for you?”

The shoulders in front of him went rigid as the man stood a little taller and, so achingly slow, turned, those piercing blue eyes meeting Robert’s for the first time in a decade. He felt the small smile touch his lips as the tips of his ears heated up in that familiar shade of pink.

“Hey, Aaron.”

“Hey, Robert.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Let me know what you thought. Comments are always really appreciated!
> 
> Tumblr: love-you-always


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